Auburn football is referred to by many different names.
Letdown. Indeed.
Just don’t call this Tiger team uninteresting—they put on a show every single week.
The pandemonium of epic proportions that occurred in all three stages on Saturday, as seen by the 24-14 stain left on the Jordan-Hare Stadium turf, was a masterclass in malfunction. Arriving for what promised to be an educational meeting of SEC non-contestants, Arkansas entertained another sold-out crowd to a little bit of everything.
Two quarterbacks were visible to them.
The host team Tigers defeated the visiting Hogs 431-334 in front of 88,043 spectators.
That featured passes for touchdowns of 58 and 67 yards, in that order.
Nice.
The remaining portion lacked rhythm akin to that of a student section swag surf. Thus, none.
Auburn didn’t keep it PG, sticking with the all-or-nothing/score-or-swear motif.
Five misses.
This featured a fumble that was lost at the end zone’s doorstep. The remaining ones came from the two quarterback interceptions.
An unsuccessful attempt at a fake punt, which amounted to an honorary sixth turnover.
I said there were two quarterbacks.
Don’t call them boring, either, as there isn’t a 2-2 team that is this intriguing in the most unsettling ways.
There’s just so much duct tape and IOUs holding this whole thing together—you can only do the recruiting-rankings hidden ball trick so many times.
When everything is taken into account, the devoted yet uncoordinated Jordan-Hare regulars end up becoming a feast for the meme lords on Saturday night. The ESPN benefactors, who are savvy enough to recognize entertainment, plucked off the dejected among them one by one.
And right now, we’re all just idling around.
For every Saturday in Auburn is, more often than not, a mad dash through a corn maze that culminates at the scene of a crime.
Thirteen drives by Auburn resulted in seven turnovers or three-and-outs (eight if you include the fake punt that went awry). Not included in it is the bad play on the Razorbacks’ second drive when they tried to force Arkansas quarterback Taylen Green out of bounds on a third-down throw-away. That 15-yard pass set up a 15-play, 81-yard touchdown drive that consumed 7:05 of game time.
However, this was not defense-related.
The focal point of this disaster is the Hugh Freeze offense.
After halftime, Payton Thorne regained his title thanks to three interceptions made by redshirt freshman Hank Brown.
Dra… ma.
After the game, Freeze stated, with a few expletives thrown in, “sickening that we can’t take care of the football on offense.”
He accepted responsibility in one breath then, in the next, enumerated all the mistakes made by redshirt freshman quarterback Brown.
According to Freeze, “He did not play well in the first half.” “He blatantly threw the ball into coverage and missed open receivers. He double clutches and sort of glides it across the middle when we find ourselves back in the red zone. Thus, it’s clear that we’re not teaching quarterbacks very well.
Indeed.
However, even one of the players responsible for one of Freeze’s historic wins over Ole Miss is no longer believing the gimmick. Former Ole Miss quarterback Bo Wallace added his name to the list of names involved in this Auburn tragedy in response to Freeze’s statements that Auburn needs to “find a guy that won’t throw the ball to the other team” and “you’ve got to have a good quarterback in whatever system you have.”
He attacked his previous coach on social media for criticizing his quarterbacks in defeat while claiming all the glory in victories. One of the two quarterbacks that Freeze coached in those historic victories over Nick Saban and Alabama wouldn’t be your first choice among all the people to attend.
Include that in the body of evidence demonstrating the failure of the program Freeze was brought in to save.
However, Year 2 is exhibiting regression as opposed to advancement.
They’re a heated mess, but we can’t help but stare.
